Friday, October 20, 2006

The Concert.

(An empty concert hall in a city in the United States several hours before a concert that evening.)

(A homeless man enters and looks around. He sees the stage set for the concert. He walks up to the stage at its middle and looks out over the audience seats. All is quiet and empty. He thinks to himself. Then he raises his arms and, with his ragged jacket flapping about him, he begins as if to conduct the orchestra in a great symphony. A shaft of sunlight shines in and illuminates a seat right in the middle of the auditorium. The man sees it. Stops conducting. Walks to the seat and tries it out. He tries and tries to get comfortable, but can't. He rises and takes off his ragged coat to show his only new piece of clothing. A clean white shirt he had gotten that afternoon from Goodwill. He sits back down, stretches once again in the sunlight, and goes to sleep. TIME NOW SPEEDS UP. Members of the orchestra arrive and start to tune. The audience begins to gather - slowly at first and then rapidly. The men are in suits and tuxedos, the ladies in expensive gowns. The man is soon surrounded by the audience. They do not notice him and he sleeps on undisturbed. The conductor begins the concert with the now complete orchestra. The playing is, of course, also sped up. At the 5 minute point, the music is sad and the ladies take out their handkerchiefs to wipe the tears back. At about the 7 minute point, the music ends and the audience applauds wildly. The audience starts to leave as does the orchestra. A few people linger, then everyone is gone except the sleeping man. The lights dim so only the man can be seen clearly in a spotlight. TIME RETURNS TO NORMAL. He moves, yawns, stretches, rubs his eyes. He gets up, retrieves his coat which had fallen on the floor, and carefully brushes it off. He puts it on with great elan and care despite how dirty and ragged it is. He walks up to the now empty stage and peers into the rows of chairs and music stands. He turns to the auditorium and raises his arms to conduct again, but stops, shakes his head, and rubs his belly. Then he turns and disappears out the same door he entered by into the now dark night.)

(The lights go completely out on stage and the curtain falls.)


© Sherman K. Poultney June 1992

Thursday, September 14, 2006

I CAN TOP THAT

I Can Top That

10 min Play

© Sherman K. Poultney 28 Feb 1990


Scene:
Dante is overhearing a conversation in Limbo between Khafre and Richard Nixon.

Characters:
Khafre …………….Pharaoh of IVth Dynasty in Egypt (c. 2650 B.C.)
Richard Nixon……..37th President of USA (c. 1974 A.D.)

Synopsis:
Khafre and Richard Nixon participate in a game of one-ups-man-ship based on their experiences
of leading great nations.


NIXON
You look familiar. Where have we met before?
KHAFRE
We've never met before. Have you ever been to Egypt?
NIXON
Several times. Cairo. Aswan.
KHAFRE
How about Gizeh? The Sphinx.
NIXON
The Sphinx. That's it. You look like the Sphinx.
I Can Top That (cont) page 2 of 10 pages
KHAFRE
You mean the Sphinx looks like me. I built it.
NIXON
You also built the great pyramid, didn't you? I envy you. I was never able to erect such a monument.
KHAFRE
No, my father Khufu started the great pyramid. I completed it after his death. It was built in only 23 years.
NIXON
What an undertaking!
KHAFRE
Only the beginning. I conceived the idea for the rest of the pyramid complex at Gizeh and then carried it out starting with my pyramid.
NIXON
Which one is that?
KAHFRE
The middle one.
NIXON
But it's smaller than your father's. Why's that?


I Can Top That (cont) page 3 of 10 pages
KHAFRE
Many reasons; the size of the Gizeh plateau, the small quarries, but mainly wanting to finish the whole complex while I was still alive.
NIXON
How did you ever finance and organize such an undertaking?
KHAFRE
We had a very rich economy in my years. No foreign wars. The aristocracy had more wealth than they knew what to do with. The poor barely subsisted. I taxed the rich and put the poor to work building at Gizeh.
NIXON
Sounds like my years of the 3rd Republican dynasty that I founded; except for the war. I didn't tax the rich, but I did want to get the poor working for the welfare they got. I called it workfare.
KHAFRE
It always helps to have a concept, doesn't it? I told my people that from my tomb health and good fortune would flow out to them.
NIXON
They thought you a god, didn't they? How times have changed.
KHAFRE
I thought so, too. I really wanted to build my palace of the sun where I would live in splendor forever.

I Can Top That (cont) page 4 of 10 pages
NIXON
You got the same surprise I did, didn't you?
KHAFRE
Yes, but our present arrangements here could be much worse you know.
NIXON
Don't remind me. Ho Chi Minh does it all the time. Tell me about you grand plan for Gizeh.
KHAFRE
The plan was relatively straightforward. It was the execution that was difficult.
NIXON
I know what you mean.
KHAFRE
You understand hieroglyphics, don't you?
NIXON
I have some books on the subject in my Presidential Library. And the reporters always accused me of using them to answer questions at news conferences.
KHAFRE
You know what the glyph for heaven, the home of the gods, don't you?
NIXON
Sure, but why don't you remind me.


I Can Top That (cont) page 5 of 10 pages
KHAFRE
Heaven is where Ra the sun god goes when he sets. The glyph is a picture of the sun setting between two hills in the west.
NIXON
What has that got to do with your grand plan?
KHAFRE
Simple. I laid out the Gizeh complex so that pilgrims coming up from the port on the Nile or standing in the first temple would see the sun setting behind the pyramids. It would look like Ra was joining me in heaven.
NIXON
That doesn't sound all that esoteric.
KHAFRE
Ah, now comes the cleverness. During the seasons, the sun moves north and south behind the pyramids.
NIXON
I never noticed that.
KHAFRE
And at the solstices, it would set between the three pyramids.
NIXON
I see, just like the glyph. The sun setting between two pyramids.

I Can Top That (cont) page 6 of 10 pages
KHAFRE
Yes, but at both equinoxes the sun would set just at the edge of my pyramid. The rays would come down the approach road, pass right by the south side of the sphinx, and enter my temple. It would illuminate my statue in silhouette at its side.
NIXON
A very clever scheme. You involved cosmic motions. I didn't know you Egyptians were so clever.
KHAFRE
Thank you. You have a good mind for such things.
NIXON
I often thought about perpetual memorials, too. But the world has changed since 3000 B.C.
KHAFRE
2651.
NIXON
Oh! How did you ever get all those stones in the right places to coincide with those motions of the heavens? Your father's pyramid alone covers 13 acres and is over 482 ft high.
KHAFRE
Our technology. We could survey exactly with our measuring and sighting devices.
NIXON
I'm glad you have an appreciation for technology. I think it’s time I told you about 20th century, A.D. that is, technology and my grand scheme. Don't think you have the corner on everything.

I Can Top That (cont) page 7 of 10 pages
KHAFRE
There's little new under the sun, but give it a try. I’m all ears.
NIXON
We developed the technology to go to the moon and actually placed a man on the moon.
KHAFRE
That's almost unimaginable. But why the moon, that female body? Why not the sun?
NIXON
You Arabs are so arrogant. Just because you made the Seventh Wonder of the World doesn't mean you know everything. The sun is too far away and too hot.
KHAFRE
Next thing you'll tell is that the moon is closer. And I couldn’t live on the sun.
NIXON
Precisely, and not only that, but I can top your story of your monument.
KHAFRE
Go ahead and try.
NIXON
What with our capability to go to the moon and my need to put my name in history, I conceived of a grand plan, too.
KHAFRE
What was it?

I Can Top That (cont) page 8 of 10 pages
NIXON
I always sought peace for my country and the world.
KHAFRE
Haven't we all.
NIXON
Perhaps. My concept was to use our space technology to write PEACE across the face of the moon. To remind everyone of that goal.
KHAFRE
That really would top me, wouldn't it?
NIXON
You bet it would. Once in place on the moon, those letters would never be destroyed. Your pyramids will eventually erode down to nothing. Like your Sphinx is doing. My letters would be there on the moon until the whole solar system is no more.
KHAFRE
You would come closer to eternity than I did. But what happened? I can't see PEACE across the moon.
NIXON
That's where execution comes in. Obviously you were great at it and I wasn't.
KHAFRE
What happened?

I Can Top That (cont) page 9 of 10 pages
NIXON
Someone found out my real plan. We had a much more open society than you. Washington leaked like a sieve. Reporters. Newspapers. Television.
KHAFRE
I don't understand. Didn't you just tell me your plan?
NIXON
Almost, except for one final part. PEACE has five letters in it just like NIXON.
KHAFRE
Pretty tricky Dick.
NIXON
Ouch.
KHAFRE
I see what you were going to do. Place NIXON across the face of the moon so your name would live forever. Your own glyph. I admire your scale of thought.
NIXON
I'm honored, to be sure. I was so elated at the prospect. Until someone leaked the X of the secret plan. There was no X in peace. The public outcry grew too great. I tried to convince them that I was merely economizing by using the Latin word for PEACE.
KHAFRE
PAX, you mean.


I Can Top That (cont) page 10 of 10 pages
NIXON
Yes, but our nation of semi-literates had never learned Latin. I could not persuade them of my good intentions. I had to settle for scratching my name on the Great Wall of China.
KHAFRE
Your memorial would certainly have topped mine if you had succeeded.
NIXON
When it comes to men, there's not much new under the sun, is there Khaf?
KHAFRE
Only in how we do it, Dick, only in how we do it.
NIXON
By the way, when did you learn Latin?
KHAFRE
Pope John the 23rd taught me.


THE END

Monday, July 24, 2006

The Laundromat Operator and the Poet

The Laundromat Operator and the Poet.

I dreamed last night I walked
into the laundromat next to Kelly's
Foodmart in Franconia, NH.
and there was Robert Frost
washing his dirty linen.

"Are my directions clear, Mr. Frost?" asked Ezra,
the Laundromat operator. "And note the sign,
Please remove your laundry
as soons as the machine finishes".

"Sound straightforward to me, Ezra.
Not many mysteries with a machine."

"Never a surprise as in a poem, huh?"

"Oh, Ezra! Not only did I put my shirt
and drawers in the tub,
but I added the blue stuff,
then dropped my four bits in the slot.
Nothing happened."

"You've got to set the dial.
Are you normal or permanent press"?

"Well I don't consider myself normal.
Ezra, Still nothing happens."

"Keep the lid closed, Mr. Frost, keep the lid closed."

"I closed the lid
and this consarned contraption
got all agitated (as I am now),
rinsed once, started to spin, and stopped.

"Must be a washer
that doesn't like a poet."

"I might use that line, Ezra."

"Rebalance, Mr. Frost, rebalance the load.
Just like you do for your readers."

"Well don't look while I lift out
these sogging-wet long johns."

"Close the lid, Mr. Frost, close the lid."

"Ezra, I rebalanced and the cycle finished,
but explain these lace panties
entwined with my underdrawers."

"Providence, Mr. Frost, Providence".

"What should I do now, Ezra"?

"Observe the sign
I pointed out when you came in.
This here other fellow's waiting."

"Well, Ezra, you take the lace panties.
I'm not going to write about them."

"That's a pity. You might get more readers.
Put them in the dryer against the wall
where they'll really get heated up."

"Ezra, why are the dryers upright
and the washers recumbent?"

"Just the nature of the beasts.
Engineers mix the Anglo-Saxon and
the Norman for affect."

"I've filled this dryer up, but
it, too, doesn't work, Ezra."

"Just like a bad poem, eh? Too full.
You've got to use two dryers."

"Why does it take so long, Ezra?"

"If you can't be patient,
you could take them home.
String them out on a line
like words on a sentence."

“I'll just read the bulletin board
while I wait.
Look at this Moving Sale ad for a
full-size cedar wardrobe chest
That family must really be having tough times."

"They were evicted.
The man warn't no farmer
like many of us."

"Speak for yourself, Ezra.
The dryer's stopped
and my clothes are done."

"Thanks for the conversation Mr. Frost,"
Ezra replied. "Come back soon."

As he turned to go, laundry basket in hand,
Robert Frost spoke to me,
"What've you been staring at the whole time,
you young whippersnapper you?
Tend to your own dirty linen."


© Sherman K. Poultney 3 August 1996


Note: Written upon seeing the book, “The Rabbi and the Poet” at the Frost Place.

FIRE !

FIRE!

(Time is early Sun morn. Characters are Ed, a greenhorn, and Joe, an old hand at
fire. Ed has just finished pouring gasoline all around a large shed from a bright
red gas can.)

JOE
“Pour gas all around that shed, Ed.”
ED
“Like this Joe?”
JOE
“Like a pro, Ed.”
ED
“What next?
JOE
“Be careful with that gas can.
Place it farther away from the shed. ..... No, not in the SUV.”
ED
“Why’s that, Joe?”
JOE
“Throw a match into the shed and you’ll see.”
ED
“Wow! What a flare-up. Whooooosh. So that’s what napalm was like in Vietnam.”
JOE
“Yeah, but now look toward the gas can.”
ED
“What am I supposed to see, Joe?”
JOE
“A finger of flame shooting out towards the gas can.”
ED
“It almost reached the can. Good thing you had me move it far away from everything.”
JOE
“Didn’t they teach you younger guys anything in Volunteer Fireman School?”
ED
“The whole shed’s burning now. Bursts of flame, then white steam, then black, black
billows rolling upwards.”
JOE
“I sure like those flames shooting skyward. Reminds me of the barns I’d set on fire when I was in grade school. And soon the sirens will sound.”
ED
“Rrrrrrrrr. They’re starting now.”
JOE
“Quick, hop in the SUV and let’s get out of here.”
ED
“It’s so early in the morning, we probably woke them up at home in bed.”
JOE
“Imagine that. At home in bed with their wives on a Sunday morning.
ED
“Yeah.”
JOE
“No matter, they really enjoy putting out the flames. We’ll come back in a few minutes to help clean up.”
ED
“But won’t they suspect something, Joe.”
JOE
“Naw, and in any case, we got to pick up our gas can before they find it.”


THE END



© Sherman K. Poultney 19 June 2006


Notes: (assignment from Clay at SLC Summer Playwriting Workshop based on newspaper brief about subject.)